The most stressful five years of my life ended with an ADHD diagnosis.
I quit my career in Early Childhood in 2011 to stay home with my children and open an in-home daycare with the plan to go to nursing school once the kids were in school. In 2014 I started taking part time classes at the local community college. And in the fall of 2015 I started the nursing program. One of the instructors sat us down within the first month and basically told us that we were all in for one of the hardest parts of our lives. She said that we would make friends, and lose friends. We would work hard with each other. Some of us wouldn't make it to the end. Some of us who made it wouldn't have the same spouse or partner that we started with. Because the program is hard, and it's even harder for those who have never done it to "get it." She wasn't wrong. Thankfully I made it through the nursing program with my family and friends intact, and even came out with a little more self esteem at first. But I'm getting ahead of myself. The first year of nursing school wasn't so bad, other than being extra tight on the budget because I was now working as a dishwasher at a local restaurant on nights and weekends since I was in school 4-5 days a week.
That was just the intro to how stressed I was going to be. So here we go:
Year 1: Selling our house during the second year of nursing school.
We had been outgrowing our house for a while and I thought we'd buy something bigger after I graduated and had a good nursing job. A nursing job would pay twice as much as my former career, and probably four times what I'd been making as a part time dishwasher. My husband started getting itchy to get out of our small space, and we figured if we listed the house it would probably take close to a year to sell, so we'd have plenty of time to get ready before moving. We posted the house for sale in June. Forty-five days. Our house was on the market for forty-five days before we had an offer and the house was under contract. In that time After a few tours we found a place that we eventually bought, but in the mean time we were in a bidding war and weren't sure we'd have a place to move into when we closed on our sale. School started in September. We closed on both houses on a Friday in October. My husband is usually gone for the month of October. He came home for a long weekend to sign the papers and move trucks and trailers of furniture and boxes. Then he left Sunday night to go back to work. Tuesday I sent the kids to their first day in a new school (which they were terrified of, but thankfully had a great day.) The following weekend was my daughter's birthday. We always had birthday parties on Sundays because it was the only day we could guarantee that my husband wouldn't be working. This was the first time that she'd remember her birthday being on a Sunday and I had promised she could have her party on her actual birthday that year. Though we had moved in barely a week before and were still living out of boxes, we hosted 8 extra children that weekend for a birthday party sleepover.
Winter break during that last year of nursing school was when I had my first break down. I was a mess the whole month. I went to the doctor begging for something that would help me. It turned out I hadn't been sleeping and didn't really even realize it. I hadn't slept well in months. And anyone who knows me well knows that sleep is like the foundation of my hierarchy of needs. Food, warmth, shelter... those are all on the first floor, but sleep is the true foundation. After winter break I failed the first test of the final semester. Bad. I spent the rest of the semester working just to get my grade above passing. I had hoped to do well on the second test to make up for the first one. I didn't fail it, but it wasn't enough to bring my grade up very far. That same afternoon I completely bombed an interview with one of my first choice hospitals. The rest of the semester was more of the same; moving my grade up inch by inch but never quite enough to guarantee that I'd pass. And getting turned down at every hospital I applied for. Talk about stress. I put the last 2-3 years of my life into this program and I may not even pass. And if I do pass, I still have no job lined up to pay for all the schooling. I finally got a job offer when someone backed out of a position they had accepted. That's great and all, but I still didn't know if I was going to actually graduate in order to qualify for the job. I wasn't sure I was going to pass until the very last day, after I took the final. One of the instructors had pity on me and showed me my final grade as soon as the computer tallied my grade on the final. I passed by like 1.3 points if I remember right. After the final we all went out to breakfast and ordered hard drinks.
Up next
Year 2: New Grad
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